Something funny happened to me over the weekend.  Not funny “HA! HA!” (cause it was not that!), but funny “ironic.”  For awhile, The Marine has been telling me that I needed to get a new computer.  Yes, I agreed with him, but I did not want to make the conversion from XP to Vista.  I have a laptop with Vista and…well…it was not a pain I was willing to endure. 

On Saturday night, we were laughing about how silly it would have to be to take my computer to Computer Guy.  For those of you not in the know, I write ALOT about sex and have all of my images for the sexual publications I create on my computer. Looking at my sex files, emails, and images…I can well see Computer Guy paying me for bringing my computer to him!  

Well, less than 24 hours later it happened.  As I was tapping away on my latest job, the blue screen of death appeared.  My computer was down for the count.  The Marine worked on it for several hours before finally giving up (he has a degree in Computers–so it was damaging to his ego!) and agreeing to take it to be examined.  When we left it, it would not read the OS.  The Marine and Computer Guy exchanged knowing looks that said it would have to be put down!  The Marine took off the day to be with me as I mourned the loss of my partner in crime.  I am trying to be really Zen about it and say that it was time to move on to better things, but I wonder…

Anyone want to share the most embarassing thing on their computer?  Come on…we wont tell TOO many people!  ~~Dee

PS…I have lost all email addresses, so if I had your email address….please send it to me again at whispersomethingsexy@gmail.com!  If I did not have your email address, but for some reason, you want me to….please tell me why when you send me the email.  Oh..and I dont need any part of my body enlarged, a loan / mortgage, or to hook up with someone on match.com.  Thank you ahead of time for not pissing me off with those types of emails!   

“You’re not getting older.  You’re getting more entitled to be your fabulous self.”—Gwen Stefani

As I sat on the edge of the bed today in my mother’s bedroom, pictures of me lined the wall.  Of course, I was not so startled to see the difference between me now and me at age 10.  My mother says that I was born at 18 years old and started growing up from there.  Of course, that is her way of saying that I have an old soul.  This is something an intuitive friend of mine tells me quite often also. 

What did amaze me to realize as I looked over the visual timeline of my life was the realization that I am not the same person today as I was just one year ago.  As I am approaching the one year mark of the SexyWhispers blog, I realize how fully my own sexuality has blossomed due to this place.  People that I have met, ideas that I have gathered, and information that I have shared has affected me…the way I live my life…aloud for the world to see…..without shame.

And, realizing that I am not the same person that I was 12 short months ago helped me to realize one  more thing….I won’t be the same person next year either if I am lucky.  By embracing who I am I can no longer “play small.”  I can no longer live in my own isolation of belief without screaming into the darkness.  I can no longer stand on the sidelines accepting the person scared to hug… love… laugh… share…. be.

I can reach all the way around the world with words of comfort, friendship, peace….and yes…sexual acceptance.  As I plan the one year celebration of SexyWhispers, I know I am ready to fabulous! 

How about you?  ~~Dee

Sorry group….The Marine send this to me and I almost spit soda all over the monitor.  It was too much!!  Enjoy….

She was standing in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast wearing only the T’ shirt that she normally slept in.

As I walked in almost awake, she turned and said softly, ‘You’ve got to make love to me this very moment.’

My eyes lit up and I thought, ‘I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day.’

Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she said, ‘Thanks,’ and returned to the stove, her ‘T’ shirt still around her neck.

A little puzzled, I asked, ‘What was that all about?’

She explained, ‘The egg timer’s broken.’

Remember….Live, Laugh, Love…and share it with someone else!  ~~Dee

Just a few reasons why Women are Superior:

• We got off the Titanic first. 
• We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
• When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous. When men buy a blow up doll it’s pathetic.
• Men’s clothes make women look sexy and gorgeous. Men look like complete idiots in women’s clothes.
• We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
• We’ve never lusted after a porn character or the central figure in a computer game.
• Taxi’s stop for us.
• We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
• We know the Truth about whether or not size matters.
• If we’re not making enough money we can blame it on the glass ceiling.
• It’s possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
• No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival a man in a Speedo.
• We don’t have to fart to amuse ourselves.
• We never have to wonder if his orgasm was real.

Remember…Live, Laugh, Love….and share it with someone else!  ~~Dee

I would like to start this posting off by saying that all of my life I have been proud to be an American.  Given, there are times when I question what and how we do things within the boundaries of the purple mountains across the seas of grain, but it is very much like having millions of siblings to me.  We may squabble among ourselves, but when another dog comes into our house, the fight is on cause we are one.  I am not trying to sound dramatic…just set a stage of understanding for the painful thing that I am about to say.  When I see something so visibly wrong in our country and people too dazzled by the waving of the stars and stripes to realize what is ugly behind the glamour, I am reminded that it is not wrong to speak out…it is the very foundation of our Constitution. 

As I watched the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics in China, I too was amazed by the movement of lights mixed with human bodies to create a magic rarely seen in any arena.  In a style typical of the majestic Asian culture, the historical past met with the present to show the world a beautiful flare of heart and harmony.  However, I have always had one pressing question about every Olympics.

Why does the Olympics hate women? 

If you are speechless now, breathe deep and keep reading please because I come to this place disheartened by the incredible lack of concern shown by the people of the greatest country in the world:  America.  Every time, as I watch the young women marched out onto the floor, I don’t see world class athletes.

Here is what I see that disturbs my heart:

• Young female bodies sculpted by starvation and over activity.  If you met most of those girls on the street, your first inclination would be to buy them a cheeseburger and a car load of french fries.  They don’t look healthy or well defined.  They look unfed as if they had grown up in a third world country.
• The teachings of anorexia and bulimia forming in the minds of young women not able to understand that healthy does not mean zero percent body fat.  Healthy is not measured in keeping a body weight under a certain amount to keep from having a period.  (For the men of the world and those who are not knowledgeable about weight loss, the female body will stop menstruating if it drops below a % of its needed weight.)
• Young girls walking out onto the floor with braces and wraps on almost every part of the body. Accepted, I was an athlete in high school and college.  I know sometimes you play to support the team—even hurt.  But there has to be a point at which the injury is about the person and not about the team.  And, if there are 5 out of 10 young women with the same injury, then is that not enough of a pattern to tell someone that the approach needs examination.  Instead…it tells them that the weakness is in the female body.
• Young pasty face girls that look like they have not seen fun or sun in the last 5 years of their lives.  I always wonder if these little girls, touted as the ideal athletic specimen, will know the pleasures of running barefoot on a late summer night in the yard, learning to drive their first car, and anticipating their prom.

             

Perhaps what bothers me most is the comparison between the male athletes and the female athletes.  The men look like Adonis resurrected.  Strong and steady…ready for battle…they seem able to take on the world.  The women look like fragile cancer patients recovering from their most recent chemotherapy treatment.  Is that a harsh judgment?  Yes…it is a harsh judgment.  But, the images do not lie.

And…it seems that the American populous psychologically understands this too.  After all, I know Apolo Ohno (click the link!!  Really…..click the link!)…does he look like he is missing out on life?  Can anyone name a female Olympic Athlete of the last four years?  No fair hitting Google! 

In reality, what I am worried about is not only the representation of the USA on the world stage of the Olympics, but what happens to these women a few years down the road when the brain washing has worn off and their minds, bodies, and spirits are crippled by the experience?  Do we then remind them that it was all for the glory and what an honor it was to represent the greatest country in the world?  Do we then say at an age too young to drink or vote you traded your life for a shiny piece of gold?  (sound familiar?)

Or, do we hold those accountable now that should be protecting these young women?  The American motto has always been to protect the helpless.  Would we do any less for those warriors to stand up in our colors, wrap themselves in the flag, and tell the world that they are the best America has to offer?  ~~Dee

Once more into the fray…so to speak.  Translation=I am about to step out on that shaky limb that approaches the idea of sex education and children.  I know.  I KNOW.  Rant rant rant.  But, hey…if you don’t like it or don’t agree…let me know or find the door.  I am good with either a sound verbal wrestling match with logical, intelligent people or a mass exodus of the idiots!

There was an article recently called “Grade-school Lolita: So Sexy So Soon.”  As I read through the article blaming all of the troubles with young girls becoming too sexual at a young age on everyone from media to mass culture, it seemed to me that the blame did not fall in the one place that children spend most of their time AND the place that holds the educational responsibilities of any society.  YES…hello, the school.

Now, as many may have noticed, I do not have the obligatory warning that my blog contains adult content and I am not listed with the adult blog directories.  Why?  Simple really…I believe that discussion about sexuality and sex between those who know and those who want to know is a moral imperative.  Nothing wrong or needing warning.  SexyWhispers does not cause cancer or pollute the environment.  Seeking knowledge does not come with an obligation to check ID at the door to make sure that people are “old enough” to know the truth about sexual relationships.  Granted, the answers might morph a bit if I were talking to a 13 year old girl than if I were speaking to a 35 year old woman (although…I must confess that the questions are probably the same!), but if responsible, informed, intelligent women do not gather around to guide the sexual development of the next generation of girls, then how do we assume that they will learn about their bodies and sexuality?

Ummm….how did you learn about sex?  Enuf said!  But, I digress.

While it is true that there is too much sex in the media, there is way MORE violence in society, media, and schools.  And, without the proper guidance to find the answers to the important questions of sexuality, young girls will sexually mimic what they see in music videos, friends, and media.

Am I advocating that we teach young girls about their bodies and sex in a way that might make them into strong confident women who don’t feel like they have to pimp themselves out to get the interest of a man?  Ummm…well, yeah. 

What are we scared of?  That they might use what they are learning in sex education?

Kind of the point I would say!  You see…kids are going to have sex and be sexually active.  In reality, we are teaching young women to be strong and protect themselves.  We are showing them how to use sex as a pleasure instead of have it used against them as a weapon. 

But, first…it begins by creating a generation of young girls that feel good in their skin with a healthy self-esteem.  If I had to look around mass media at the influences on young girls, then I would have to say to parents…don’t hide sexuality from young women.  In a culture concerned with perfect skin, boobs, butts, make-up, and clothes, I don’t think it is the sexual depictions in media we should worry about.  It is the lack of counter-influence by real people in children’s lives.  Children are not being stolen from their beds at night.  Parents, due to comfort or fear, are lulled into giving out only enough information to get young girls through high school.  But the point screams at me….those are only 4 years of their lives (and not even the hardest years—not matter what they think!). 

WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER 50 YEARS AFTER THAT?

In short, we are not preparing young women for life.  And, in that…we fall and we fail because they will attempt to do it themselves.  ~~Dee

I have encountered a rather interesting phenomenon that I simply cannot explain.  So many women…upon meeting and talking to me tell me what a (put positive adjective here) person that I am.  They rave about how great it is to know me, how much they can count on me to have their back, and how strong I am as a person/woman/individual.  Ok…that is all good.  But, what I don’t understand is that upon getting a little closer to me, each woman finds things about my physical appearance that they feel like they want to change.

Now, really…I am not unattractive at all.  In some places, I am even considered quite pretty.  I believe I have amazing features that reflect the best of who I am.  Given, I am not receptive to many of the trappings of most women (ie. makeup, pedicures, waxing, and wonder bras) because I don’t consider those things important to the experience of being a sexual woman.  They are about the external…not so much the internal…and the enhancement of the prettiness of the body.  So, when faced with the recent rash of women saying things to me about wanting to “make me over” or “dress me up,” I fall short of understanding why. 

• What do they see as missing when they look at me?
• Why do they feel like I am lacking a part of my being if I am not participating in these rituals?
• How can they like the internal so much and not see the connection to my comfort with the external?

                     

Please, don’t get me wrong.  These things are not said to me with any maliciousness at heart.  They are wonderful women seeking to help me.  But, what they fail to understand is that I am not in need of help.  Life is not about the decorations that others see when they sit across the table from me.  My life is about what I see when I look in the mirror…and I like that woman…and it shows in my sexual soul.  If my body is comfortable in a pair of skin tight jeans with high heels and a sexy tank top, then that is more sexually powerful than a short skirt with thigh high fishnet stockings with a lacy top that I see women constantly tugging back into place.  Because I am able to wear confidence and self-esteem, it will never matter what else I wear…I will wear it well and that is what reflects into the sexually adjusted woman that I am.  ~~Dee (not Barbie)

Ok…I am about to be a little judgmental on the jugs ladies!  I really dont have a problem with women making their breasts look great.  You can hike them up or show them off.  From bare breasts to creative presentation, there is only ONE thing that bothers me when it comes to the boobies!

Now, first, I will admit, that I am known to go bra-less.  With nice sized nipples, it is hard to cover up attraction.  My nipples can be seen through a lightly padded bra.  I have always worn a bra to work, so when a female boss once told me that nice girls in her time placed a small piece of tape or a band-aid over their nipples if they were large….I laughed.  No really, I laughed right in her face.  First, for the silly notion that I would put tape on my tits.  Second, for confusing me with a nice girl!

But…I digress.  Back to my breast bitch!

It really bothers me the new trend of women wearng bras with strappy tops.  A pretty girl with nice shoulders and lovely breasts ruined by an ugly bra strap.   Are we so far back in the stone age that women can not be proud of their breasts?  And, not even one of those pretty bras that shows some sex appeal….nope, the old-time white utility bra like your grandma owns.  When a woman wears a bra showing straps with a pretty top she just looks insecure and uncomfortable.

Instead, why dont we take a page from the book of the women in the 60s?  There are occasions when a bra shows class and beauty.  But, if you are going to go without a bra or wear a cute strappy top, please please please…..do ruin it with those ugly straps!  Commit to it!  There are strapless bras and very cute bras that are specially made for cute tops.  Spare the world your underwear please….TMI!  ~~Dee

I absolutely love to travel with The Marine.  When we travel together, we get alone time over meals and while driving that we hardly ever get otherwise.  We are so similar that we share thoughts and ideals.  I can often say stupid things to him…stop…try again…and he finishes my sentence perfectly.  And coming from him, it sounds logical.

There is an adage that states “Ask a stupid question…”  Well, sometimes, when you ask a stupid question, you get a prophetic answer as a gift.  Maybe it is a gift for being courageous enough to ask. I don’t know, but I was so impressed with this exchange that I have to share the quiet conversation that evolved at lunch on our way to Orlando.

As we were eating, I suddenly found myself saying, “What is it like to be a man?”  I had been thinking of all of the privileges and treatments men get by society just for being born with the ability to pee standing up when the waitress put the check on his side of the table as she strolled off.

Without looking up or missing a bite, he said, “well…competitive.”

Not at all expecting that answer (although I can’t say what I did expect), my quizzical look brought further explanation.

“We are born to believe that we have to be the fittest.  Win the race, support our families, work the hardest, make the most money, date the prettiest women, and drive the fastest cars.  We are taught not to show fear, love, pain, sensuality, or weakness.  Even though we don’t have to hunt for food anymore, we still have to maintain our caveman attitude or be considered weak.  We are told to hold up the world on our shoulders and be happy about it.”

Incredible.  I blinked a few times to clear away the fog.  Huh…I have to think about that one.  More to come.  ~~Dee

I am given to rip articles out of magazines and carry them around until I figure out what I wanted to say about it.  Now is the time…there was an article in Glamour magazine (August 2008) about women’s sexual fantasies.  Some of these fantasy “facts” ranked high on my WTF meter.  Let me know what you think…

Under the question of “Are your sex fantasies normal?”:

• 29% of women feel guilty about their fantasies.–Feel guilty?  For what?  Get over yourself and enjoy the ride. 
• 72% of women say they fantasize during sex to get turned on.–I find this sooo sad.  If he is not doing it right enough to get you turned on, then teach him how!
• 64% of women say they dream about sex in a public place.–one car, one parking garage, two people….and it will literally rain inside that car from the steam!
• 30% of women say they have acted out ONE of their fantasies.–Just one?  Come on now…the other 70% need to get in gear.
• 47% of women say that their real sex life is better than their fantasies.–Again, you have the power here.  Make your sex life as spicy as you want it…act some of those fantasies out!

              

Under the question of “3 weird things that are very normal:”

• Fantasizing about Submission 
• Wanting to have sex with a stranger (27%)–I think that the other 73% are LYING!  How many women have never seen a man in a bar or in the grocery without the thought of ‘getting a piece of that?’  Just once?
• Fear of a partners fantasies

                    

I want it said that there is NO normal when it comes to fantasies.  As long as no one is suffering permenent damage and all parties are consenting (and of age), the normal is what sexually turns us on and gives us the most sexual pleasure!  This bothers me greatly because I dont like the idea of segregating sexuality by “normal” or “abnormal.”  What might give me hot flashes might leave the next woman cold!  Lets not set a standard….lets just share techniques!  

Fantasy Partners:

• An Ex (52%)
• A Celebrity (51%)
• An Older Man (39%)
• A Man in Uniform (38%)
• A Boss (23%)
• A much Younger Man (22%)

                         

Why do we fantasize about the unavailable men?  The dangerous ones?  It might seem like forbidden fruit, but really…the fruit you can have can be very juicy too!  ~~Dee